October: Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month

Many of my readers from long ago on Mommy’s Links know this, but my newer readers may not.  Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness is something that I hold near and dear to my heart.  It has been almost fifteen years ago that I started on my journey to motherhood, and those first two years were not easy.  I had two pregnancy losses, one was an ectopic pregnancy, the second was a miscarriage which I learned of at my 12 week checkup.  Losing a Fallopian tube and having progesterone issues as well as secondary infertility, I am blessed beyond measure with my four amazing children.  But no matter how many children I have, no matter how many years passed, I will never forget the babies I lost and the struggles I had to get my kids here.

Over the last 15 years, I have met and made friends with so many amazing women who have struggled.  Unfortunately, I have also met women who join the “loss or infertility club” as time has gone on.  All of our stories are different, but we share a common bond.  We understand the devastation and sadness as well as life changing events that come along with loss and infertility.  I know many women who have gone on to have healthy babies after infertility and loss, women who have gone on to adopt, and women who have not had any children.

Going through my losses was the worst experience of my life, that is, before my husband’s heart attack last year.  They are totally different life experiences, and they each have changed me as a person.  I often will get angry at my kids for fighting with each other, leaving a mess, forgetting homework or disobeying my husband or I.  Having gone through infertility and loss does not negate the fact that I am still a human being as well as their mother, and I still need to discipline and will still get mad at times.  But I always remind myself of how blessed I truly am, and how there are so many women and couples in this world today who are suffering as they long to hold a child of their own in their arms.

I remember back when I had my first loss, which I was going through at the end of 2000.  I remember feeling all alone, as I didn’t know anyone who had gone through loss.  My family didn’t understand, and my husband (we divorced in 2005 because of this experience, among other things) was not much of a support.  It was taboo to talk about pregnancy and loss, and once I met others who were dealing with it as well, I promised myself and my babies that I would ALWAYS work to increase pregnancy and infant loss awareness as well as infertility awareness, so no woman or couple would ever feel alone.

If you are one of these women and need someone to talk to, feel free to email me and I would be happy to give you a call.  I am sorry you have joined this club, but I promise you that you are not alone.

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